“I can’t tie knots”
“I can’t tie knots”
This is a truth I have been telling myself for the entirety of my life.
A few weeks ago during my volunteering work with the Civil Defence Service I was advised that we had to learn to tie knots in ropes. These knots would be essential for all manner of rescue and emergency operations and an assessment would be forthcoming to test our competence.
“I can’t tie knots”, I told myself.
I had passed every test and training with full marks so far and I suddenly felt very nervous about what was coming next.
The trainer approached me and said, “How are you with tying knots?”.
“This is definitely a week point: I can’t tie them at all, and I have never been able to successfully tie them”. I then made a nervous joke about the invention of ratchet straps and the relief I had when I discovered I could use these to get me out of any rope tying requirements.
He proceeded to show me a single Figure of 8 knot.
I got it first try.
Then he showed me a variation of the Figure of 8.
I got that first try too.
Then a Clove Hitch.
Same result. Boom, first go.
I was surprised. Not only did I get it first go, I immediately recognised that I understood the process for tying these knots.
The hand movement.
The loop.
The bend.
The tension.
The following week I practiced the knots several times during my workouts, and then periodically as I worked in the shed over the weekend.
Last night I returned for the 2nd week of training which involved revision and an expansion in the types of knots we would be learning.
Bang, bang, bang. All 3 knots from the previous week done.
Alpine Butterfly Loop. Bang, got it, understood the process.
Round Turn and Double Hitch. Boom.
Bowline. Got that one too.
“I can tie knots”
As I reflect on this incidence, I have begun thinking deeply about limiting beliefs.
In my life, I would take a crack at just about anything. I have taken some really big swings where I was not sure I had what it took, nor that the outcome would be successful. Many people have commented to me that I was extremely brave (and/or foolish) for even trying.
Yet, if someone had asked me a month ago if could I tie knots, I would have reflexively said “No, I cannot and never have been able to do it”.
I would not have even attempted to try to learn knots had it not been required in the line of my volunteer duties in the Civil Defence Service.
Today, it’s easy.
It’s important in life to challenge these limiting beliefs when they arise as they simply may not be true. These beliefs may be placing great limitations on the potential for you to have good things in your life.
“I can’t lose weight”.
Maybe you once could’nt - but maybe now you can.
“I can’t eat healthy”.
Maybe you tried and failed this many times before - maybe this time you will succeed.
“I can’t get a promotion in my job”.
Maybe your high school teacher told you that you would not amount to anything. Maybe that prediction over your life is false!
“I can’t be a good enough father for my children”
Maybe your Dad did a terrible job. Maybe you framing of his parenting is flawed. Maybe you can be all that you think you should and could be.
If I trace this limiting belief back to it’s roots, it was when my step-father was trying to teach me how to tie a clove hitch on his trailer. I did not want to learn from him (he had replaced my actual father), I had trouble with concentrating on hands-on tasks that required effort (childhood immaturity) and I had no real desire to learn.
I tried and failed as a child, but with no real effort. There was no repetition in later life to compound that skill or ability. And the emotional pain of my step-father trying to tach me something I desperately wanted to learn from my actual father steered we away from trying and into the false belief that I could not tie knots.
“When you have a big enough why, the how becomes irrelevant”
With the mergence of a strong “Why” - save and protect lives and livliehoods in the Civil Defence Service
He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any bow - Nietzsche
